Close reading of Misogyny

So I wasn't going to write anymore about this particular subject, until I saw Tony Harris' follow-up comments regarding the whole situation, and that made me realize that I can't just leave bad enough alone.   So, I'm going to undertake, for the first time, a Fire Joe Morgan-style close textual reading of Harris' comments. We'll see how it goes.

               I cant remember if Ive said this before, but Im gonna say it anyway. I dont give a crap.

Don't give a crap about punctuation?

I appreciate a pretty Gal as much as the next Hetero Male. 

You hear that everyone, he's straight! Get it?  Straight. Not one of the gays. Ok, got it.

Sometimes I even go in for some racy type stuff ( keeping the comments PG for my Ladies sake) but dammit, dammit, dammit I am so sick and tired of the whole COSPLAY-Chiks. 

And spelling, too. Three dammits - he must really be perturbed about something!

I know a few who are actually pretty cool-and BIG Shocker, love and read Comics.

Don't worry, I'm not a sexist, a few of my lady friends are actual, honest-to-goodness comics readers. Wait, to whom is this shocking?

So as in all things, they are the exception to the rule. Heres the statement I wanna make, based on THE RULE: 

Here we go.  The rule. Never go in against a Sicilian where death is concerned? Never get into a card game with a guy who has a state as his first name? 

"Hey! Quasi-Pretty-NOT-Hot-Girl, you are more pathetic than the REAL Nerds, who YOU secretly think are REALLY PATHETIC. 

Oh. That's the rule. You can tell he means it BECAUSE OF THE SERIOUS ALL CAPS.  THAT'S RIGHT LADIES TONY HAS YOU ALL FIGURED OUT BECAUSE HE CAN SEE INTO YOUR BLACK VILE HEARTS AND MINDS.

But we are onto you. 

You gotta get up pretty early in the morning to hoodwink Mr. Tony.

Some of us are aware that you are ever so average on an everyday basis. 

Wait, you're not actually going to go into some sort of diatribe about women's appearances, are you?

But you have a couple of things going your way. 

A love of comics and access to materials to make costumes?

You are willing to become almost completely Naked in public, and yer either skinny( Well, some or most of you, THINK you are ) or you have Big Boobies. Notice I didnt say GREAT Boobies? 

Oh. Not the stuff I mentioned.  Please don't go off on a description of the difference between "big" and "great" in this instance, please please please don't do that.

You are what I refer to as "CON-HOT". 

Ok, so we dodged a bullet on that one. But, again, Tony is on to you.  You're not really hot. You just go to comic conventions and magically appear to be hot. Wow, that is a super power. Ladies, if any of you has actual super powers, please use them for good and not eeee-vil.

Well not by my estimation, but according to a LOT of average Comic Book Fans who either RARELY speak to, or NEVER speak to girls. 

I can see you crying over there ladies. Tony doesn't think you're hot. Sorry.  I know, you're thinking, but why did I go through all this effort if he doesn't think I'm hot. Tough cookies.  Also, pretty sure he just described his fellow fans as a bunch of losers.

Some Virgins, ALL unconfident when it comes to girls, and the ONE thing they all have in common? The are being preyed on by YOU. 

Harlots! Hussies! You are the predator, with your fake hot looks and your big but not great boobies. You are like the great white shark of comic conventions.  

You have this really awful need for attention, for people to tell you your pretty, or Hot, and the thought of guys pleasuring themselves to the memory of you hanging on them with your glossy open lips, promising them the Moon and the Stars of pleasure, just makes your head vibrate. 

Yuck. Just, yuck.  Tony has seen into your minds and souls, and it ain't pretty.

After many years of watching this shit go down every 3 seconds around or in front of my booth or table at ANY given Con in the country, I put this together. Well not just me. We are LEGION. 

He apparently speaks for the "silent majority" on this one. Wait. LEGION? Like the Legion of Super Heroes? Because I've tried a bunch of times to read those books and I just don't find them interesting.

And here it is, THE REASON WHY ALL THAT, sickens us: BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT COMICS, BEYOND WHATEVER GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH YOU DID TO GET REF ON THE MOST MAINSTREAM CHARACTER WITH THE MOST REVEALING COSTUME EVER. 

He knows this because he distributed a quiz on comics knowledge and trivia to all the women doing cosplay at conventions. He has assessed your comics knowledge, and found it wanting.  I'm sure he did this for all the men wearing costumes too - oh, wait. He didn't? So he's only making these assumptions about women? Huh. Weird.

And also, if ANY of these guys that you hang on tried to talk to you out of that Con? You wouldnt give them the fucking time of day. 

I'm not going to suggest he knows from personal experience because as he's told us he's a family man (which is of course the awesomest way to justify misogyny, by using the women in your life as a human shield), so presumably he is omniscient and has seen all the ways you harlots and hussies, you comic poseurs, interact with these poor innocent schlubs outside of the comic book world.  Tony Harris is Uatu.

Shut up you damned liar, no you would not. 

Wait, who did he just tell to shut up. Me? I'm not even a woman, and I've never dressed up in a costume except on Halloween and Purim. 

Lying, Liar Face. 

What's a liar face? 

Yer not Comics. 

Comics are books or floppy periodicals that are drawn and written and can be sold in physical form or electronically. So, point to you, you're right.  They're not comics.

Your just the thing that all the Comic Book, AND mainstream press flock to at Cons. 

Damn you, fake comic women fan horrible people, for taking attention away from me! Huh. I see what this might be about now.

And the real reason for the Con, and the damned costumes yer parading around in? That would be Comic Book Artists, and Comic Book Writers who make all that shit up.

Right.  Got it Tony, thanks.